goodbyes are hard

Yesterday, I wrote about letting go of all that hinders – found here.

I’ve been learning that following through on that may include saying goodbye to those things that hold me back or no longer serve the purpose God has set before me.

And that’s exactly what I have to do; what I am doing/going to do.

Personally, I’ve never liked the term goodbye. It seems so final. As if I’ll never see that person again. I typically don’t end conversations with a close friend with that word – instead, it’s see you or later, maybe even a simple bye, followed by I love you.

This instance is not the first time I’ve had to say goodbye, nor will it be the last. I’ve said goodbye to friendships that never got off the ground and others who have run their course. I’ve let go of dreams and said hello to new ones. I do that all the time.

There’s also the matter of death and loss.

I’ve been blessed in the area of loss…the closest relative I’ve had to say goodbye to was an uncle, who wasn’t really all that close – relationally anyway. And yet, it was still a loss.

If there is one thing that life has taught me, is that it doesn’t stay the same. It’s always changing and the fact that I haven’t lost anyone close to me could, in fact, happen at any moment. We’re not guaranteed tomorrow, you know.

Anyway…

This isn’t about being a nice person and keeping tabs on every little thing (people, relationships, situations) that have ever crossed my path. That would be incredibly exhausting and stressful.

This is about releasing to God what is his…and that happens to be everything he’s given me.

In the last six months, he’s been teaching me plenty. I’ve learned that happiness starts with me – not with my relationship status or the number of friends I have; the number of things I have to do in a day (although I do enjoy being busy – to an extent) or my job. None of those things can make me happy.

That being said (and combined with the close of another year), I’m saying goodbye…

• To 2013
• To old habits
• To lies I’ve believed
• To relationships I have no reason to hold on to or have.
• To settling. Period.

Am I not grateful for having experienced all that I have this year? I am. Truly. Deeply. And will always be.

Not all love lasts, but the lessons love brings us to do. – Mandy Hale

Is this final? Probably, at least until God calls me home – I can’t make that determination for others as I cannot see their hearts. Only God can. I simply pray that God will deal with them just as he’s dealing with me; with amazing grace, tender mercy and unfailing, unending love. That part isn’t my responsibility. It’s my responsibility to let go.

I’m ready.

When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say. – Mandy Hale

I’m in the midst of a transition into a new season of life, and what once was a part of this season will not fit. They will fall away. It’s time.

And it’s time that I release my life, my heart, my dreams – all that I am – to God’s care, where they all rightfully belong. Granted, I’m not perfect and I am sure there will be days when I’ll take them back, only to release them again. All of life is a process and I am no different. I’m not perfect, nor would I ever claim to be. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I am a work in progress.

When you let go, something magical happens. You give God room to work. – Mandy Hale

Will it be easy? No. Nothing worth fighting for is, but in the end, it will be worth it.

I have had the call of God on my life since I was four and while I’m still figuring out what my calling is, He’s creating something new, helping me become the woman he created me to be and, honestly? I can’t wait to meet her.

[My] life should be so fulfilled and purposeful and centered in God that [I] see it as the cake and love as the icing. With or without the icing, a cake is still a cake. – Mandy Hale

© Anita J. Brands. 2013. Website: https://authentictruthseeker.wordpress.com/

a new year’s resolution…wait, i don’t make those

New Year’s is tomorrow.

Tonight, there will probably be some party that I’ll make a small, short appearance at. After all, we all know I’m not a night owl. I may or may not make it to midnight. Good thing I do not have plans tomorrow…

People around the world (or maybe it’s just the U.S.) make resolutions to start their new year off with a bang.

I was reading an article the other day about the top ten resolutions people make each year. Let’s just say I was amused.

1. Spend more time with family and friends
2. Fit in fitness
3. Focus on health
4. Quit smoking
5. Enjoy life more
6. Quit drinking
7. Get out of debt
8. Learning something new
9. Help others
10. Get organized

When I was growing up, my family never really made resolutions. Sure, we had goals mapped out for the next year and most of them were met by marking mile-markers as we went along.

Save money.

Get new equipment for the farm.

Pay off debt.

Diet…again. Speaking of that, move more.

The list goes on.

Four years ago – and I can’t believe it’s been that long – (March 2014 will mark three years since I made the move to Minneapolis), I made the decision to turn my life upside down and start over in regards to health (mental, emotional and physical), finances and my spiritual life. It was time to be radical and not live the way the world around me said I should.

I gave up pop. Best. Decision. Ever.

I stopped living by that blasted number on the scale and started going by how I feel and the number of inches I’ve lost instead. I’m proud to say that I’m down 45 lbs. and have lost 58+ inches over my entire body since I’ve moved to the cities. I cop it all off to walking everywhere and actually using my gym membership.

My finances look better than they did when I moved here. Finally!

I could go on.

I’m not anywhere near where I would like to be or, rather, where I envision God wants me to be, but I will get there…step by obedient step…moment by intentional moment. Perhaps he’ll call me home when I do.

2014 won’t be any different. Starting tomorrow, I plan on being intentional about getting into the Word on a daily basis – I even found some pretty cool reading plans, one that goes through the Bible in a year and another that camps out in the New Testament all year long (you can Google reading plans or click here or here). I plan on getting up earlier; I’m just hoping it’s not after a long night tonight. I plan on hitting the gym for the third time this week – on the plus side, I also discovered that they do get the Hallmark channel (and other movie channels) at the gym. Maybe I’ll watch a whole move while I’m walking on the treadmill, climbing on the elliptical or biking away the miles. We shall see. I also plan on cleaning and reorganizing part of my apartment. I also need to put the Christmas stuff away.

Along with the following:

• Remember that bucket list I posted? Check here.
• Continue to cultivate emotional maturity…learn not to take everything personally. They really don’t affect or have anything to do with me anyway. I can choose not to let them affect me.
• Continue to learn and apply the difference between time and energy management.
• Remove all unhealthy assumptions. In other words, extract the lies I’ve believed.
• Invest in someone younger than me.
• Embrace and continue to build new and deep relationships. No more of this surface level stuff when it comes to those I call friends.
• Learn how to really manage my finances – budget, meal plan, save, etc.
• Plan. I’m a planner by nature – my girlfriends give me a hard time for it nearly every day. What can I say? God gifted me with the gift of administration. I’m still trying to figure what to do with it.
• Rest well. I intend to take time each day/week/month to rest. To be still.
• Love the Lord – with all that I am.

Bring it on New Year! I love a challenge!

How about you? What are your goals or resolutions?

I pray that as you make them, you’ll include God in on the fun. Without him, the success rate is practically nil, or so I’ve discovered. And don’t forget to have a little fun!