Tag Archives: pride

Love is Not Proud

Humility is perfect quietness of heart.
It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me.
It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised.
It is to have a blessed home in the Lord, where I can go in and shut the door, and kneel to my Father in secret, and am at peace as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and above is trouble.

~Andrew Murray

How many relationships would be saved if just one party would apologize? Marriages? Pride is truly the root of so many evils.

Pride is the single most widespread problem we face. None of us are immune to it. Everyone is prideful, even if they don’t want to admit it. Pride can be obvious or subtle, but pride is not God-honoring. Pride does not help us love anyone but our self. Pride got Satan kicked out of heaven. And pride did the same to us (and can).

It’s the way of the world, but it’s not a godly quality that the Lord wants to see in us.

Pride and arrogance are stepping stones to lust, to selfishness, to anger, to contempt. There’s no room for pride in a loving relationship – pride takes up too much space. Really loving someone means being willing to admit faults and shortcomings. Love puts others first, even at the expense of ego or dignity. Pride just doesn’t fit into that scenario.

A pride person makes decisions based on what will make them look the best. They’ll take others down to build themselves up and hurt feelings to keep from admitting wrong. We don’t think we’re being evil when we’re being prideful, it seems right, even good, at the time. You know yourself well enough to know where your pride resides. Capture it, and act in love. Be willing to be wrong and admit it. Be ready to step aside when someone has a better idea. Respect them in love.

Jesus gave the ultimate example in this. He repeatedly said that he came to the Father’s will. Not his will, but God’s will. A prideful person cannot submit to another because it would bruise their ego. We see no filthy pride or ego in Jesus, the Son of God.

Remember the Samaritan woman at the well we discussed the other day? Jesus took time out of his day to connect with her. She held a priority in his heart. He connected with her at her place of need. And once that connection had been established, he revealed who He was. If Jesus were prideful, He would have just come out with His true identity right away. Yet, in His humble manner He creates a relationship, elevates the woman’s worth and value in that society and revealed Himself in a gentle and kind way. (John 4:7-26)

Love dissolves the ego. Love melts down all the selfish underpinnings causing pride to form in us. In love, we come to understand position, power, authority, and things are of no value. In love, we come to understand only Christ is of value. In love, we are not stuck up because we are willing to take a lesser position.

How are you mirroring your Lord’s humility? Do you brag about how great you are? Or do you wait for others to praise you in due time? What motivates you? Are you out for your own benefit? Or do you seek other’s benefit before your own? Do you build relationships to reach others for Christ? Or do you blast them by pointing out all their sins and reciting Bible verses at them?

If we truly seek to become the loving people God calls us to be as His children, we need to deal with the issue of pride. We need to learn to lay down our will for God instead. When God’s power of love comes over a person’s life, all the things of earth, the things we think are so important, pass away. Love does not have time for pride because love is too busy helping others, supporting others, and glorifying God in all we say and do.

Scriptures to encourage you today:

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:12-13

And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross! Philippians 2:8

The fear of the Lord is to hate evil: pride, and arrogance, and the evil way , and the forward mouth, do I hate. Proverbs 8:13

If my people who are called by My name humble themselves, and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. 2 Corinthians 7:14

He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble His way. Psalm 25:9

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

Today’s Challenge: Lay down your desires for the benefit of someone else. Help someone else. Suppor them. And glorify God in the process. Add this to the other four challenges.

Love Does Not Boast

The definition of boasting, “to speak with exaggeration and excessive pride, especially about oneself” is the kind of boasting that is never a part of love.

Love quiets our heart and mouth. Love humbles us before our God and before others. We are not puffed up when we are within God’s love. In love, we do not see how we are better, or bigger, or stronger, or richer, or taller because we are continually expressing our joy in humility. Love engenders humility in us rejecting the idea of being better than someone else. There is no bragging in love because love is “others” oriented. To boast means we are deficient. With love, there is no deficiency, only an overflowing of heart, mind, and soul. When we boast, we ignore others while love is centered on others rather than upon self.

Is there anything wrong with boasting? Not necessarily.

No one likes a braggart. Excessive boasting is obnoxious and rude. It belittles others and serves self. In short, it’s not love. But we should boast…and we need to be careful about how we go about doing it.

Imagine this.

You’re out with friends. The girls are chatting together while the guys share a word. One of the guys starts going on about what he did for his girlfriend on their anniversary, telling all of the details about how much hard work he put into it. This can play out in one of two ways.

He’s either sharing all of this so that his friends know how wonderful he thinks his girlfriend is, and how deserving she was/is of that treatment, expressing regret that he can’t always treat her with this much attention – or, he’s bragging. In the latter scenario, he’s making himself look good, which makes it seem as though he went so out of his way for such an undeserving wretch as his girlfriend, and she’s so lucky to have a good person like him in her life. How would that make her feel? Is that loving?

Our boasting should be confined to what God is doing in our lives and with the people we have contact with. The purpose is to encourage others and further His Kingdom.

God is loving and kind by nature. Therefore, he cannot keep himself from giving us abundant gifts. He gives us homes and families, healthy bodies, wisdom, skills and talents, and knowledge of the Scriptures. Unfortunately, we cannot keep ourselves from taking credit for these gifts and boasting about them. Without God’s gifts, our lives would be miserable. But even with God’s gifts, our lives end up being miserable because we are still experiencing the effects of original sin. The whole human race is thoroughly infected with original sin. Unbelievers don’t understand the seriousness of it, so they act as if it doesn’t matter.

We see this problem, not only in ourselves, but in others as well. We brag about our material possessions, even though these are rated as the least valuable of God’s abundant gifts. Consequently, the wealthy, regardless of whether they are nobles, merchants, or farmers, consider other people to be mere pests. Even more serious abuses exist with the more important gifts, such as wisdom and justice. The fact that God gives his gifts to everyone results in the following predicament: God cannot tolerate boasting, and we cannot keep from doing it.

This was how the world sinned before the flood. Among Cain’s descendants were some of the finest and most intelligent people in the world. But in God’s eyes they were very evil because they had become they had become filled with pride about the gifts God had given them. Then they despised God, who gave them their gifts in the first place. The world doesn’t understand why this is wrong and therefore doesn’t condemn this behavior. But God condemns it.

Jesus never showed off. His greatness is often revealed in what He suppressed, rather than what He did or said.

Love will never boast about itself or about things it has no influence over. If love boasts, it will only boast about the object of its affections, in a way that makes the love grow stronger, and shows everyone how much it has changed the lives of those it has touched.

Love builds others up, it doesn’t tear them down. Bragging brings others down in an attempt to elevate yourself. True love acts in humility.

Verses to encourage you today:

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth. Proverbs 27:2

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But not to use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. Galatians 5:13 NIV

As the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the Lord.” When people commend themselves, it doesn’t count for much. The important thing is for the Lord to commend them. 2 Corinthians 10:17-18 NLT

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. Not a result or works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV

Today’s Challenge:  Refrain from commending yourself. Boast about God and others.