Ever have one of those no-good, rotten, horrible days?
The ones where you trip on a raised piece of sidewalk that you swear wasn’t there yesterday and proceed to run into a number of inanimate things through the day.
The ones where every call at the office seems to set you on edge after you made the mistake of taking the first frustrated caller personally.
The ones where that friend cancels again and you could kick yourself for making the situation all about you when you don’t even know what’s going on in her life in the first place.
The moments when the day a father figured told a little girl she wouldn’t have friends or amount to anything if she continued to [fill in the blank] comes back to haunt her, even though she knows she’s forgiven him and moved on…
Those days frustrate me.
I get angry at that friend, at myself and at the world.
Life doesn’t seem fair.
I bark at my co-worker or my neighbor as I head back to my apartment, bringing her down with me (misery does love company, doesn’t it?).
And, oh, that chocolate cake in the display case at the bakery I walk by on my way home looks so good…even though I’m not physically hungry.
My heart is empty.
My emotional tank is empty.
I’m struggling to focus and that thick piece of cake…
that tray of Oreos…
spending time flirting with that guy…
sounds like a tempting quick fix.
And more often than not, I give in, more so to the areas of food or the pleasure I can get from Hollywood’s form of entertainment.
God, in his amazing goodness and grace, has been teaching me to turn to him during those moments when my emotions are triggered by those past events, by those incomplete and hurting people, or by my own clumsiness (although I’ve found myself laughing more on that last one). Through his love and the words of Lysa Terkheurst and the rest of the ladies at Proverbs 31 Ministries and those doing this online study with me, he’s showing me that I can get the satisfaction, that deep-soul satisfaction that lasts forever, from him and him alone.
I’m made to crave.
And, boy, do I ever!
I crave to fulfillment on all levels. I crave love (I do like having a full love tank…I’m more able to reach out and pour into others when I do). I crave peace. I crave relationship. I crave companionship. I crave so many things and God is the only One who can do fill and satisfy all.
If only my stubborn heart would believe it as truth! I’m learning…
To seek him out before that chocolate cake; it will only satisfy me in the moment and leave me feeling off the rest of the day.
He promises this throughout his Word:
“For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” Psalm 107.9
What a promise! Good things – love, life, joy, peace, patience, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control ( this applies so much with this study…all of it!), and so much more.
If I could ask him for any of those things right this second, it would be self-control, love, and an abundance of grace for those who trigger my emotions and discernment to know where to turn to and when rather than making that pit-stop at the bakery on my way home.
I’m learning. We all are.
Today, I choose him. It doesn’t matter if the first person I talked to today took out their bad morning on me. They’re incomplete. So am I, but I have Jesus. Maybe they don’t. How can I take that personally when he asks me to love them instead?
Now to you: what triggers set of you on any given day? Do you believe that God is good enough to meet those needs when you’re emotionally empty? Seek him out. Let him love you. Make that choice.