my father’s daughter

Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you. Exodus 20.12

First, let me state that I am not a parent (yet) nor am I an expert on this matter. I’m simply a young adult who has formulated her opinions, insight and what-nots based on God’s Word and the world I see around me. That being said…

I am my father’s daughter.

No lie.

I inherited his mighty temper (granted, the red hair may have more to do with that than anything). His ability to be stubborn has most definitely been passed on. And I definitely find similar situations and things to be just as humorous as he does.

Indeed.

I am my father’s daughter.

Father’s Day was always a time when I would stop and reflect on the relationship I have with my earthly father as well as the one I have with God, my heavenly Father. It aslo was and is a time when I would take a moment to thank him and remind him that I loved him. I still do, but the manner in which I do has changed drastically from that when I was a child.

Growing up in and attending the local Christian school, I heard the whole “Honor your father and mother…” tidbit every day. It is an important theme throughout the Bible and the entire Old Testament is based on a patriarchal system.

Some fathers are easy to love; those that seem to be the terrific ideal every child wanted. Others are harder to love. They may not have been dependable. They may have left when you were young. Perhaps they were in the home, but not there at the same time.

Mine fell into both categories. After all, he is only human. Regardless of his faults, God calls me to honor him by loving him and respecting him. It’s not only the right thing to do; this commandment also holds with it the promise of having a long life. That is one promise I’ve discovered that I want to stand on and it (along with God’s guidance) has helped me overcome the days when honoring my dad wasn’t so easy.

My teenage years were filled with yelling matches, massive amounts of miscommunication and a lack of attendance at school/sports events. Honestly, there were moments when I didn’t feel I mattered. Now – most of you know that I’m a huge advocate for Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages – since I’ve read that book, my relationsihp with my dad has changed. Then again, I’ve become the type to focus more on love and grace than their opposites.

Chapman writes about the different love languages and the way each one affects the person who speaks them. I was blessed with a living example on how to speak all five (words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gifts, and acts of service), but three of them truly speak to me and any one of those three could mean more at any given moment.

I’ve discovered my dad’s and I’ve been learning to speak his as well as mine, hoping God will speak it into his heart. I’ve definitely been tested in this process and I’ve learned that patience is a virtue worth striving for.

It’s now 2013. More than a decade has passed since the last of my teenage years spent at home. My rebellious streak is over…well, one could only hope [*wink] and with the fact that I’ve matured some since, it’s safe to say that our relationship isn’t what it used to be and for that, I am thankful.  

God, my heavenly Father – the only One who will never let me down – reached into my life at the tender age of 18 (again) and grabbed hold of my heart, showing me that He had never to let go, and taught me what it means to love the way He does (see yesterday’s post [here] for more on that).  I will forever be grateful for what He’s taught me and continues to teach me on a daily basis.

The world we live in has a twisted view of love. Hollywood spins their friends-with-benefits and drop-it-like-it’s-hot tales. Disney portrays the “happily ever after” stuff little girls dream about (by the way – “Happily Ever After” is possible…just not in the way the world thinks).  No one talks about what happens after the wedding or after the guy gets the girl. Even the love portrayed between friends is twisted and cruel in this “what’s-in-it-for-me” and “give-it-to-me-quick” society.

God’s love is unconditional. God’s love is deep, wide, long and strong…more than we can even begin to comprehend. Growing up, I’m sorry to say that the love I had for my parents was conditional. I believed that my life was all about me. Me this. Me that. Me. Me. Me. I. I. I.

Enough said.

Having had my heart torn apart, battered, cracked – you name it – God, in His amazingly unconditional love, reached in and helped me put the pieces back together again. Granted, there were a few times when He had to re-break a few things so it would heal the right way, but that pain…worth it.

In the last five years of my life, God has taught me what it means to love and to extend grace to those around me. I tell my dad I love him every chance I get and to hear those words said back to me: huge benefit! I don’t credit him with that. I can’t. All the credit goes to God…a heavenly Father I have chosen to honor…day in and day out…in spite of my humanity.  

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in being blessed with an earthly father, it’s that I have an endless, desperate need for Jesus. See musical inspiration from two of my favorite artists (Shane and Shane) here.

I may be my earthly father’s daughter.

But

By the grace of God Almighty

I’m also His.

I can proudly state that I am my Father’s daughter.

That being said, Dad (and all other dads out there) – these are for you:

Dear Dad,

My how the years have passed since you first took hold of me in your arms for the first time. A lot has changed since then, and not just my size.

Since Father’s Day is all about showing appreciation to our fathers, I wanted to reminisce a little on some old memories and appreciate you for all that you’ve done in my life.

I’m simply doing what I used to do when I still lived at home. I used to write you letters during special days and days in which things weren’t going so well. But today…

Today, I wanted to let you know that I love you and that I’m grateful God chose to bless me with you as my Dad.

When I was a child, I admired everything you did and attempted to mirror your actions. I remember piggy back rides through the fairgrounds and our evening rides on your Harley when I was four. There are times when I miss those days. Everything was simpler and time stood still.

You also set your goals high and did everything in your power to accomplish them. I look up to you for that. You’ve also always marched to the beat of your own drum, not bending to the ways of the world around us. God has moved you in ways you probably haven’t noticed or understand just yet, but I wanted you to know that I see His movement in your life and that’s exciting.

I also admire you for having the strength to stick with it when it seemed the world was against us. I know I probably didn’t honor you the way I should have when I was a teenager and for that I’m sorry. Forgive me? However, I will forever be grateful for the turn our relationship has taken.

I’ve been blessed to have you and Mom and the relationship we share. You play an important role in keeping our family together. It takes teamwork and hard work. You taught me that. We never went hungry and always had a roof over our heads. When we had little, the choice to give instead during the holidays will always resonate in my heart. Those years were the best.

You motivate me to do my best, to work hard and to have a little fun while doing so. Life isn’t always sunshine and moonbeams and during the time when it’s raining, all one has to do is shine a little light to find a few rainbows.

Thank you for setting that example.

Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.

I love you.

Your first-born daughter,

A.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my Abba,

What a day! A day to remember Who has taught me, guided me and instilled wisdom in me my entire life. You have promised countless times that you love me. You have promised countless times that You will never leave me. You even went so far as to show me how much You love me by sending Your only Son, Jesus. Can I ask for anything else? Of course I can, I always do. James reads: “ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking” (James 1.5b). Your Son, Jesus, even stated, “You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father” (John 14.13). As any good father would do, You do what You feel is right in whether or not I should get what I ask for. It all comes down to the matter of my heart, which only You can see. What a terrifyingly beautiful thought!

I hope to one day be half the type of parent You’ve been to me. I hope that when my kids (if that be in Your plan for my life) need something, I’ll be there for them as You have been for me. I hope that when they have questions, that I’ll have the answers You’ve so freely given and that if I don’t, I’ll seek those answers in You. I hope that when they are going through good times or bad times that I’ll be there for them, just as You have always been there for me.

So I end this letter by saying thank you with a joyful heart for being my Father, in all ways, and by writing that I’ve been very blessed by being one of Your adopted children. Thank you for extending Your grace to ALL of the human race. Furthermore, I want to thank you for Your undivided attention even though You have countless children.

Happy Father’s Day (today, tomorrow and all the days to come)!

Love – Your Daughter

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One thought on “my father’s daughter

  1. Zhamour June 12, 2013 at 12:29 PM Reply

    Sho, tremendous! Thank you for pristine and raw honesty. I echo your experiences of both father and Abba. I’m nearly thirty and to our Father I’m still drinking milk, how relentless is his love that tirelessly brings me home in His embrace just to reassure me that I’m still loved! Amazing grace! PS: I’m writing our Dad a letter too, wowzer! Great idea! Your blog always inspires and spurs me on, girl! Thanks, Zhams
    Remember the magic within! Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

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