for a most beloved sister on her wedding day

Let’s face it. Writing any speech is hard. But, writing one for your sister’s big day? Definitely.

I’d been working on the thing for weeks. I’d start it, write a line (okay, maybe two), and end up wadding up the yellow legal paper because I didn’t like the way it flowed and toss it towards the non-existent trash can in my living room. Ever the perfectionist, not only was I making a mess in my apartment (which, secretly, drives me nuts), I was hitting road block after road block. This speech had to be the best thing since sliced bread. Flawless. Epic, really.

The idealist in me demanded romance and perfection, with enough humor to captivate the audience (her guests) and keep the new husband and wife from falling asleep at the head table. I didn’t want something generic, something cut, pasted and dried from someone else’s idea. I wanted it to be genuine. Real. Us – my sister and me. Adding Jordan would be a bonus. If only I could get it right.

When writer’s block started to affect my ability to think straight, I put the entire project aside for two weeks, attempting to write the week of the wedding. Actually, it was the day I planned to leave town and make the 3.5 hour trip back home that I picked up that legal pad, tuned into YouTube for some much needed inspiration and started writing again. After weeping like a sad sap over a few sappy speeches online, it struck me…like a dream from long ago. I questioned whether Ashley would even remember the moment…when she won the battle between Ariel and Belle, two Disney princesses that profoundly shaped our childhood. I’ll get back to that in a moment.

Writing any speech is hard. Writing one for your sister’s wedding…very.

This was a day we had both talked and dreamt about since we were kids. We used to pour over sketches and ideas for Barbie’s big day (went through several of those…I swear, the poor gal got married every five minutes) and watch with starry-eyed wonder as Ariel pledged her love to Eric/Belle to the Beast on Saturday afternoons.

Writing any speech is hard. Writing one for your sister’s wedding…very.

Yes, I know I’m repeating myself, but can I drive that fact home? Writing something that will last only five minutes, but encompasses your relationship to both bride and the group, passions, dreams, and childhoods is super hard.

Trying to get through said speech without shedding a tear, never mind turning into a blubbering idiot is impossible. For me, at least. For someone who had shut the waterworks off for years, I’ve turned into a sap. I cry over anything that the touches my heart and soul – sappy movies, sappy books – I am definitely not immune to sappy speeches.

So, since I’ve been there and done that, I figured I’d offer a little advice for those seeking inspiration on the topic at hand and to share the speech I gave on my little sister’s special day.

  1. Take time to jot down a few notes or write out an entire speech beforehand. I don’t care if you’re the type to fly by the seat of your pants or oober-organized like me. The day of is crazy-busy and having something prepared/on hand is always a plus.
  2. At the very minimum, include a favorite memory, funny story, something sweet or words of advice and end it with a toast. It’s usually best to steer clear of inside jokes that no one will get.
  3. Keep the focus on the bride and the groom.
  4. Speak from your heart. Your sister wants to hear from you…not words from someone else’s experience.

If you were there, you probably remember my inability to make it through the first paragraph and my sister standing to give me a hug before I was even finished. Thank goodness for Kleenex, family and hugs.

For the Gorgeous Bride, My Beloved Little Sister, on Her Wedding Day 

 

For those of you who don’t know, Ashley is my beloved and most favorite little sister. And, Snoopy, thank you for asking me to be your maid of honor. This morning you said I’ve blessed you, but you have no idea how much of a blessing you’ve been to me.

What can I say about Ashley that most of you don’t already know? She’s not just my sister; she’s one of my best friends. She’s the kind of person who sees humor in many situations and her unexpected wit will have you laughing in no time. She’s one of the few who has always been there to listen to me rant and rave about everything and nothing. She’s beautiful inside and out. I am so blessed and grateful to be her sister.

Seems like yesterday that we were redecorating Barbie’s playhouse, planning her absolute last wedding, sharing secrets and laughing over nothing in particular. Oh wait, that was yesterday.

I remember debating over who made the better mermaid and, until Disney’s Beauty and the Beast came out, I thought I had won that one. Upon seeing Belle wander the streets of her “little town, full of little people” with her nose stuck in her book, you stubbornly stood in the middle of the living room with your little hands on your hips and that look on your face and said, “There. There’s you.”

Personally, I still think I’d make a better Aril than you, red hair and all, but I digress.

Thinking back to singing “Part of Your World” with you when we were kids, I see now that you’ve found a man whose world you’re now a part of and vice versa.

After Jordan proposed and I had reminded her about those extravagant plans we had made with Barbie and Ken when we were kids, she said that she had changed her mind and wanted a simple, intimate and elegant wedding. She told me she wanted it to be more about the love that she and Jordan share, not about the most expensive dress she could find or the elaborate decorations covering the altar and aisle. By the way, I know you’ve heard it a thousand times today, but Ashley, you truly look stunning and Jordan is a very lucky man.

Jordan…You’ve become an integral part of our family’s system in the last year. It was easy to consider you a part of our group before you even started dating my sister. I’ve watched you grow in your faith and in your love for my sister. You are becoming an amazing man of God. I’m so proud of you and it’s an honor to officially call you brother.

Like all things in life, you get out of a marriage what you put into it. You’ve built your relationship on the most solid of foundations that is Christ and this is the beginning of your own happily ever after. This is also when the real work begins. All the little every day things add up to a lifetime of happiness through both the good and the bad. Congratulations, Ashley and Jordan! Join me in toasting them – I wish you happiness, more love than you’ll know what to do with, and may God bless you in giving you a marriage more beautiful than your wedding.

I love you.

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8 thoughts on “for a most beloved sister on her wedding day

  1. An Urban Mystic March 22, 2013 at 12:28 PM Reply

    Very beautiful …thanks for the share. I have a little sister too..I know I’ll cry buckets on her BIG day ..:-)

  2. lista de email April 18, 2013 at 10:51 AM Reply

    i just wanted to make a quick comment to say i’m glad i found your blog. thanks. lista de email lista de email lista de email lista de email lista de email

  3. Free Webmaster Guide February 5, 2014 at 1:01 PM Reply

    Free Webmaster Guide

    Hello 🙂 Your method of describing the whole thing in this paragraph is genuinely fastidious, every one be able to simply be aware of it, Thanks a lot.

  4. Linda April 27, 2014 at 10:34 AM Reply

    Wow wat a speech surely ur experience z mre or less 2mine,dats a kick ass speech ❤

  5. AjB1303 August 12, 2014 at 11:16 PM Reply

    Reblogged this on A L!fe Lived and commented:

    I wrote this for my sister a little over 17 months ago. A great time…many memories…emotional overload, but it’s all good.

  6. Tanika B. Kelton October 6, 2014 at 7:14 AM Reply

    I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought
    this post was good. I do not know who you are but certainly you
    are going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!

  7. cynthia October 15, 2014 at 8:18 AM Reply

    thx a million bizy with dis 1 for my little sis ths novemberB-)T_T in Port Alfred mcwaa

  8. collars necklaces happy partner October 22, 2014 at 2:46 AM Reply

    Hi! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to
    give a quick shout out and tell you I truly enjoy reading your articles.
    Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that go over
    the same subjects? Thanks a lot!

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