“Remember, LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.” Psalm 25:6 (NIV)
I sometimes struggle to see how God’s Word applies to me and my life. You see, I’ve been waiting for what feels like forever. For a walk down “the” aisle. For a cradle and arms full of soft cooing. For hearts of loved ones to fully turn to Jesus or even to return to Him. (Some days: for my life to start, even though it already has.) For manna to rain from heaven.
The funny thing about waiting is it can be all-consuming. It inhales my attention, chews my focus and swallows my thoughts, leaving me in a place of uncertainty and doubt. I forget God’s power to fulfill my hopes for a husband, children and prayers answered.
Last night, I met with my Bible study girls. We’re a small group and we intend to keep it that way. Being small gives us the opportunity to be real with each other rather than hide behind our insecurities and intimidations. Being small gives us the freedom to really pray for each other and be involved in each other’s lives.
We’ve been walking through Beth Moore’s So Long Insecurity. That book has evoked more emotions than I care to review (happiness, agreement, disagreement, anger, self-loathing…even the whole you’re-wrong attitude). I’ve wanted to keep reading it. I’ve wanted to slam the cover shut, hopefully ripping it off, and toss it back on the shelf to collect dust. But these women won’t let that happen. We’re digging it through it, one painful thorn at a time, whether we want to face it or not.
And I’ve discovered: I’m. A. Mess.
But – that’s okay.
We’ve just completed the second chapter and that section alone removed the dust and cob webs from some pretty dark areas of my life; rooms I haven’t visited in years or even returned to after the fact. I’m afraid of rejection. I’m afraid of not measuring up. I’m afraid of not being good enough; or even enough, for that matter. I don’t feel adequate or equipped for what God has in store for my part in His will. I don’t feel that I will ever measure up relationally/socially to the point that I’ll be ready to have the true desires of my heart finally met.
One of my girls pointed out a thought/stated a compliment that I hadn’t even thought of last night – perhaps God has kept me single all this time so that He can prepare the heart, mind and character of the man I will one day meet and marry so that he can stand by me in regards to my past, my family, and all the other junk this world throws our way.
I’m still struggling to find words.
I tend to forget…
…forget what God can do. Its then, when I can’t see how He’s going to bring these things to pass, I have to rely on His faithfulness in the past.
Remembering God’s faithfulness in other’s lives in Scripture, reminds us of His faithfulness in our own.
When the waters rise, you’ve waited long for rescue and you feel God’s forgotten, remember… Genesis 8:1*: But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that were with him in the ark, and he sent a wind over the earth, and the waters receded.
When dust and debris threaten to replace passions, dreams and callings and you feel God’s forgotten, remember… Genesis 9:15: I will remember my covenant between me and you.
When the pitter-patter of little feet is silent and you feel God’s forgotten, remember… Genesis 30:22: Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and enabled her to conceive.
When fear, worry, doubt and anxiety enslave and you feel God’s forgotten, remember… Exodus 2:23a, 24a, 25b: During that long period…The Israelites groaned in their slavery and cried out…God heard their groaning and he remembered… and was concerned about them.
When you can’t sleep and restlessness sets in, remember… Psalm 63:6-7: On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
When guilt consumes and you fear God will never forget your sins, remember… Isaiah 43:25: I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.
When all hope is lost, remember… Luke 24:6a-7: He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you…’The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’
When your marriage comes back from the brink of despair, remember… Deuteronomy 8:2: Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness.
When dreams come true and you’re thriving in your calling, remember… 1 Chronicles 16:12a, 15: Remember the wonders he has done… He remembers his covenant forever, the promise he made, for a thousand generations…
Recalling these accounts in Scripture helps me remember His goodness in my own life. When I can’t see how He is moving on my behalf, I choose to remember that He promises to be just as present and faithful to me and you today as He was for others in the past.
When joy surrounds. When sorrow clobbers. When all’s right in our world. When the bottom drops out. When insecurities roar. When we feel loved and cherished. When we feel abandoned and alone, let’s remember… They remembered that God was their Rock, that God Most High was their Redeemer. (Psalm 78:35)
Remember times God has been faithful to you. Recount those out loud today.
Focus on the everyday miracles that remind us of God’s faithfulness like waking up and breathing.
Great is thy faithfulness, O God my father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
As Thou hast been, Thou for ever will be
Great is thy faithfulness, Great is thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me. ~Thomas Chisolm